Episode 147: The Hidden Biology of Holding On: Toxins, Trauma & True Freedom

Our bodies hold onto trauma, toxins, and pain for biological reasons—not willpower. Dr. Aimie Apigian shares her bathtub breaking point and the 3-phase Biology of Trauma^® framework that changed everything: how to prepare, open channels, and safely release what our nervous systems have been protecting us from.

After her third collarbone break in a 2017 car accident, Dr. Aimie found herself back in depression, chronic fatigue, and developing chronic pain—despite years of therapy and functional medicine work. Crying in a bathtub, she realized her body wasn't broken; it was scared to let go. This episode reveals her discovery of the hidden connection between emotional toxins, psychological toxins, and biochemical toxins—and why our nervous systems hold on to all three. You'll learn the exact six-step process that moves through preparation, opening drainage pathways, and active release, plus why forcing detoxification before our bodies feel safe makes symptoms worse, not better.

This framework bridges somatic healing, nervous system regulation, and functional medicine for both individuals struggling with stored trauma and practitioners helping clients who feel stuck. Whether we're dealing with chronic pain, autoimmunity, insomnia, or anxiety that won't shift, or we're therapists or health professionals seeking trauma-informed approaches, this episode explains how to create a biology of letting go. Dr. Aimie shows us how to work with our bodies' protective wisdom instead of fighting against it—so we can finally experience the freedom, authenticity, and healing our nervous systems have been waiting to feel safe enough to allow.

In this episode you'll learn:

• [03:32] Why Your Body Holds On: The relationship with the past that serves survival and the parts that aren't ready to let go

• [07:00] The Body Trauma Loop: Nervous system pattern of looping between stress and overwhelm that keeps you stuck holding on

• [12:37] Holding On to Regrets: How regret creates bracing and collapse in the body and why it's one of the hardest things to release

• [14:58] When Life Didn't Go as Supposed: The deep sadness of holding on to how things were meant to be instead of what is

• [19:21] The Biggest Myth About Letting Go: Why letting go isn't a decision you make but a biology your body needs to feel safe enough to create

• [20:33] Three Types of Toxins We Hold: Emotional toxins, psychological toxins, and biochemical toxins all accumulate the same way in your body

• [23:32] Why Bodies Hold Biochemical Toxins: When you have a biology of holding on emotionally, you also hold mold, metals, parasites, and environmental toxins

• [28:00] Three Phases of Letting Go: Preparation, opening channels, and deep cleaning—why skipping preparation makes everything worse

• [31:52] What Happens When You Detox Wrong: Fatigue, mood issues, sleep problems, and brain fog all worsen when deep cleaning happens without open channels

• [34:11] The Six-Week Process: Creating safety, building support, working with breath, pacing the release, feeling emotions, and active detoxification

• [38:45] Opening Drainage Pathways: Why poop, pee, and sweat matter for letting go and how constipation keeps trauma stuck

• [41:00] Always Do Phases One and Two: Why you should always be resourced with open channels even when not actively detoxifying

Main Takeaways:

• Letting Go is Biology, Not Decision: Your body holds on because it doesn't believe letting go is safe yet, not because you lack willpower or haven't decided to move forward with your mind

• Emotional and Biochemical Toxins Connect: When you hold emotional toxins from regrets and psychological toxins from limiting beliefs, your biology also holds biochemical toxins like mold, heavy metals, and parasites

• The Body Trauma Loop Keeps You Stuck: Nervous systems that loop between stress and overwhelm without reaching calm aliveness create a biology of holding on rather than releasing

• Deep Cleaning Without Preparation Retraumatizes: Doing intensive trauma work or detoxification before opening your channels and creating safety brings pain to the surface without allowing it to leave, making symptoms worse

• Regrets Create Bracing and Collapse: Holding on to regrets shows up as simultaneous bracing in shoulders and collapse in chest and heart, demonstrating how past pain lives in present body

• Dysregulation Multiplied by Time Becomes Chronic Conditions: Twenty years of nervous system dysregulation creates autoimmunity, chronic pain, and long-haul syndromes through accumulated toxin burden that body won't release

• Three Phases Must Follow Sequence: Preparation creates safety, opening channels allows ventilation, and deep cleaning releases what's ready—skipping steps or reversing order causes more harm than healing

• Always Resource and Keep Channels Open: Even when not actively detoxifying, you should always be doing phases one and two to prevent accumulation and stay ready for life's hard experiences

Notable Quotes:

"If it makes you sick 20 years later, that wasn't stress—that was trauma. You see childhood through adult eyes now, but that's not how you lived it."

"Trauma becomes our biology. Then our biology blocks our healing, joy, and authenticity." 

"The more emotional toxins we hold, the more biochemical toxins our body holds—mold, plastics, heavy metals, parasites."

"Deep cleaning without release retraumatizes us. We surface the trauma but don't let it leave. It makes things worse." 

"Once we recognize we're holding on, the choice becomes clear: stay small and safe, or let go safely and live freely." 

Episode Takeaway:

Letting go isn't about willpower—it's biology our nervous system needs to feel safe to create. When we hold emotional toxins, our body creates a biology of holding on. That same biology holds biochemical toxins: mold, heavy metals, parasites. Our bodies don't distinguish between toxic emotions and toxic chemicals. Both require the same three-phase process to release safely. Preparation creates safety so our nervous system considers letting go. Opening channels provides ventilation so what surfaces can actually leave. Deep cleaning happens last because without preparation, pain surfaces with nowhere to go. This is why intensive trauma work or aggressive detox makes fatigue, mood, and pain worse. The key insight: always do phases one and two, even when not actively detoxifying. Keep our drainage pathways open to prevent accumulation. When we're emotionally or physically constipated, toxins build up instead of moving through. Letting go becomes a way of being—creating a biology that releases rather than holds on.

Resources/Guides:

• Visit biologyoftrauma.com for more resources on the Biology of Trauma^® framework

• The Biology of Trauma book - Available now everywhere books are sold. Get your copy

• Foundational Journey - If you are ready to create your inner safety and shift your nervous system, join me and my team for this 6 week journey of practical somatic and mind-body inner child practices. Lay your foundation to do the deeper work safely and is the pre-requisite for becoming a Biology of Trauma^® professional. 

Related Episodes:

• Episode 1: What Professionals Need to Know About the Chronic Freeze Response with Dr. Peter Levine

• Episode 57: ACEs: How the Body Holds and Hides Pain with Dr. Vincent Felitti

Your host: Dr. Aimie Apigian, double board-certified physician (Preventive/Addiction Medicine) with master's degrees in biochemistry and public health, and author of the national bestselling book "The Biology of Trauma" (foreword by Gabor Maté) that transforms our understanding of how the body experiences and holds trauma. After foster-adopting a child during medical school sparked her journey, she desperately sought for answers that would only continue as she developed chronic health issues. Through her practitioner training, podcast, YouTube channel, and international speaking, she bridges functional medicine, attachment and trauma therapy, facilitating accelerated repair of trauma's impact on the mind, body and biology.

Why Your Body Holds On

Our bodies hold onto trauma, toxins, and pain for biological reasons. Not willpower or lack of trying hard enough to release. Specific biological mechanisms keep us holding on for protection, not pathology.

In this episode, I share my bathtub breaking point moment and the 3-phase Biology of Trauma® framework that changed everything. How to prepare, open channels, and safely release what's stuck. What our nervous systems have been protecting us from feeling fully.

After my third collarbone break in a 2017 car accident, I found myself back in depression, chronic fatigue, and developing pain. Despite years of therapy and functional medicine work already done. Crying in a bathtub, I realized my body wasn't broken. It was scared to let go of what it held.

This episode reveals my discovery of the hidden connection between emotional toxins, psychological toxins, and biochemical toxins in your system. And why our nervous systems hold on to all three types.

You'll learn the exact six-step process that moves through phases carefully. Through preparation, opening drainage pathways, and active release when ready. Plus why forcing detoxification before our bodies feel safe makes symptoms worse. Not better but actually worse than before you started trying.

The Three Types of Toxins

Emotional toxins are unprocessed feelings and stored emotions held in system. Psychological toxins are limiting beliefs and negative self-talk weighing you down. Biochemical toxins are mold, heavy metals, parasites, and plastics in body.

All three accumulate the same way in your body's systems. Same biology of holding on applies to all three types.

When You Hold Emotionally, You Hold Biochemically

"The more emotional toxins we hold, the more biochemical toxins accumulate. Our body holds—mold, plastics, heavy metals, parasites inside us."

When you have a biology of holding on emotionally to pain, you also hold mold, metals, parasites, and environmental toxins physically. Body doesn't distinguish between toxic emotions and toxic chemicals.

Until nervous system feels safe, can't release either type effectively.

The Body Trauma Loop

Nervous system pattern of looping between stress and overwhelm constantly. That keeps you stuck holding on without ever releasing anything. Stress to overwhelm, back to stress, never reaching calm aliveness.

This pattern prevents letting go and creates biology of holding everything. Without reaching calm aliveness, can't release what you're carrying. Need safety to let go of what's stored in system.

Why Regrets Are Hardest to Release

Holding on to regrets creates bracing in shoulders physically visible. And collapse in chest and heart happening simultaneously. Why it's one of the hardest things to release from body.

Regret shows up as physical tension you can see and feel. Demonstrating how past pain lives in present body right now.

Life Didn't Go as Planned

The deep sadness of holding on to how things should be. Instead of accepting what actually is in your life now. This gap between expectation and reality creates suffering daily.

The grief of unmet expectations when life didn't go as planned. Holding on to the fantasy instead of accepting reality present.

Letting Go Is Biology

"Letting go isn't a decision, it's a biology you create." Can't willpower your way to releasing what you hold inside. Your body needs to feel safe enough to create release biology.

Not because you lack willpower or haven't decided to move forward. Body holds on because it doesn't believe letting go is safe. Safety first, always before anything else can happen naturally.

The Three Phases That Must Follow Sequence

Phase 1: Preparation – Creating safety so nervous system considers release. Foundation that everything else builds on for healing to work.

Phase 2: Opening Channels – Providing ventilation so what surfaces leaves. Drainage pathways must be open before deep work begins safely.

Phase 3: Deep Cleaning – When active release happens last only. Only when body is ready and pathways are open working.

Skipping preparation makes everything worse, not just ineffective but harmful. Must follow this order for safe healing to occur properly.

When Detox Goes Wrong

Forcing detoxification or intensive trauma work before opening channels fails. "Deep cleaning without release retraumatizes us completely. We surface the trauma but don't let it leave the system. It makes things worse than they were before starting."

Fatigue, mood issues, sleep problems, and brain fog all worsen significantly. When deep cleaning happens without open channels functioning properly. Pain surfaces with nowhere to go and gets stuck circulating.

The Six-Week Process

Week 1-2 is creating safety foundation and nervous system regulation. Week 3-4 is building support and opening drainage pathways throughout body. Week 5-6 is working with breath, pacing release, feeling emotions, active detox.

Six weeks minimum for this process, can't rush healing safely.

Why Poop, Pee, and Sweat Matter

These are your drainage pathways and how toxins actually leave body. Constipation keeps trauma stuck in your system unable to release. Must be open before deep work or toxins just recirculate.

If you can't eliminate waste, you can't release trauma either.

Always Do Phases One and Two

"Always do phases one and two even when not detoxing." Not just when actively working on deep healing or detoxification. Keep drainage pathways open to prevent accumulation of toxins daily.

Stay ready for life's hard experiences that will inevitably come. Maintain baseline so you don't get overwhelmed by life happening.

The Body Trauma Loop Creates Holding

Nervous systems that loop between stress and overwhelm without reaching calm create a biology of holding on rather than releasing naturally. To create biology of letting go, must break this loop.

Must reach calm aliveness where release becomes possible biologically.

Dysregulation Becomes Disease

Twenty years of nervous system dysregulation creates autoimmunity, chronic pain, long-haul syndromes. Through accumulated toxin burden that body won't release because it feels unsafe. This is why chronic conditions develop over time with years.

Can't release because nervous system doesn't feel safe enough yet.

The Key Insight

When emotionally or physically constipated, toxins build up inside you. Body doesn't distinguish between toxic emotions and toxic chemicals. Both require same three-phase process to release from your system.

Creating a biology that releases rather than holds on to everything.

This Episode Is For: 

✓ People struggling to let go of past pain

✓ Anyone with chronic conditions despite trying everything

✓ Those whose detox attempts made them worse

✓ Practitioners helping stuck clients

✓ People holding regrets and grief

✓ Anyone with constipation and elimination issues

✓ Those interested in trauma-detox connection

✓ People ready for comprehensive three-phase approach

✓ Anyone wanting to create biology of release

What You'll Learn

Listen to my bathtub breaking point story after third collarbone break. Finding myself in depression and chronic fatigue despite all treatments. Realizing my body wasn't broken but scared to let go. Learn the hidden connection between emotional toxins, psychological toxins, and biochemical toxins. Understanding the body trauma loop where nervous systems loop between stress and overwhelm without reaching calm aliveness creating holding biology. How regrets create simultaneous bracing and collapse demonstrating past pain present. Why letting go isn't a decision but a biology needing safety. The three phases that must follow sequence for safe healing. Why forcing detox before preparation retraumatizes by surfacing pain with nowhere to go. The six-week process moving through safety, support, and active release phases. Why poop, pee, and sweat matter and constipation keeps trauma stuck. And why you should always do phases one and two.

Letting go is biology. Your nervous system needs to feel safe enough.

Listen to Episode 147 →

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information shared reflects my clinical expertise and research, but every person's biology and healing journey is unique. Always consult with qualified healthcare providers before making changes to your treatment plan or starting new interventions. If you're experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact emergency services or a crisis helpline immediately.

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