Episode 148: Why You Can't Sit Still: The Hidden Biology of Busyness

Listen to Episode 148 →

When Sitting Still Feels Unsafe

If you've ever felt like you can't stop moving around constantly, like sitting still feels unsafe to your body's nervous system, this episode helps us understand why that happens to so many.

I share Jess's story, a 45-year-old marketing director whose chronic busyness protected her. Protected her from an 8-year-old's stored terror she'd been carrying inside. When her 17-year-old daughter said, "Mom, we never really got to be together," Jess knew something had to change.

We'll explore how nervous system dysregulation shows up in life daily. As high-functioning exhaustion, emotional disconnection, and perfectionism protecting you constantly. We'll see how trauma becomes biology in your body's systems. And why our body holds on until it feels safe enough.

Through the Biology of Trauma® lens, I share the trauma response sequence. And the Essential Sequence needed to heal stored trauma without overwhelm.

A "Good Childhood" Doesn't Guarantee Safety

Why a "good childhood" doesn't guarantee a nervous system free from trauma. How Jess's busyness, weight gain, and exhaustion were signs of stored trauma. Signs of stored trauma her body had been holding for decades.

Why stillness feels unsafe when the body equates pausing with overwhelm.

Thinking Versus Feeling

How living in your head blocks somatic trauma healing from happening. Thinking versus feeling—the difference between analyzing and actually experiencing in body. The real definition of trauma: overwhelm inside the body, not just the events that happened to you externally.

The Trauma Response Sequence

Startle is the initial alarm when something unexpected happens to you. Stress comes next as your sympathetic nervous system activates for action. Freeze happens when you realize you can't fight or flee effectively. Shutdown is the final stage when your nervous system gives up.

This is the trauma response sequence in the nervous system operating beneath awareness.

How the Vagus Nerve Creates Shutdown

The vagus nerve turns overwhelm into a whole-body shutdown response automatically. It carries the signal of shutdown throughout your entire system creating effects. Leading to fatigue, gut issues, disconnection, and a loss of aliveness.

Overwhelm becomes biology manifesting as physical symptoms you can feel daily. As fatigue, gut issues, emotional eating, and chronic anxiety persisting constantly.

Why Somatic Work Can Retraumatize

Why somatic work can retraumatize you if you don't feel safe first before doing deeper work. Skipping straight to feeling and processing without safety created first.

This can make things worse instead of better for healing.

The Essential Sequence

The essential safety sequence that must be followed for healing effectively. Safety first, then Support, then Expansion into calm aliveness state. "Safety first, then Support, then Expansion into growth and healing." "You cannot skip the sequence or reverse the order safely."

How Jess used the Foundational Journey to break the cycle with her daughter creating new patterns.

Jess's Daughter's Words

"Mom, we never really got to be together during my childhood." This statement from her 17-year-old daughter changed everything for Jess. Made her realize that her busyness had cost her connection.

Her chronic busyness protecting her had kept her from being present.

What Busyness Really Is

"Busyness kept me safe from drowning in emotions I couldn't process." Chronic busyness and perfectionism can be functional freeze protecting you safely.

What looks like overachieving may actually be a protective response operating.

Trauma Isn't What Happened

"Trauma isn't what happened to us—it's what happened inside of us." It's what happened inside of us when events overwhelmed capacity. When the size of the problems we face feels bigger than our resources, our nervous system shifts modes.

Our nervous system shifts from stress into trauma territory creating biology. Leading to freeze, shutdown, and hopelessness felt throughout body.

Your Body Holds Truth

"Our body holds its truth about what happened to us." "Our mind tells us what it wants us to hear." The body remembers what the mind tries to forget.

The body keeps the score of all experiences lived through.

Why We Must Follow the Same Path

"We have to follow the same path that our body took." "Our body needs safety to come out of shutdown created." Until we create that, it will stay closed and protected.

You cannot skip steps or take shortcuts in this healing.

Breaking Generational Patterns

Jess's journey shows what becomes possible when we regulate our nervous system and choose presence over protection. Healing breaks generational patterns passed down through families for generations.

Creating new possibilities for the next generation to experience differently.

This Episode Is For: 

✓ People who can't sit still or rest

✓ High-functioning perfectionists feeling exhausted

✓ Anyone using busyness to avoid feelings

✓ Parents wanting to break cycles with children

✓ Those with "good childhoods" but stored trauma

✓ People experiencing chronic fatigue and disconnection

✓ Anyone ready to understand their nervous system

✓ Those wanting to heal without retraumatization

What You'll Learn

Learn why a "good childhood" doesn't guarantee nervous system safety. How Jess's busyness and exhaustion were signs of stored trauma. Why stillness feels unsafe when body equates pausing with overwhelm. How living in your head blocks somatic trauma healing completely. The real definition of trauma as overwhelm inside body, not just events. The trauma response sequence from startle to stress to freeze to shutdown. How the vagus nerve turns overwhelm into whole-body shutdown response. Why overwhelm becomes biology as fatigue, gut issues, and emotional eating. Why somatic work can retraumatize without safety established first. The Essential Sequence of Safety then Support then Expansion required. How Jess used the Foundational Journey breaking cycles with her daughter. And why healing breaks generational patterns creating new possibilities forward.

Trauma lives in the body—healing requires Safety, Support, then Expansion.

Listen to Episode 148 →

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information shared reflects my clinical expertise and research, but every person's biology and healing journey is unique. Always consult with qualified healthcare providers before making changes to your treatment plan or starting new interventions. If you're experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact emergency services or a crisis helpline immediately.

Join the Conversation

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this episode. What resonated with you? What questions came up?

Please keep comments respectful and supportive. This is a community of people committed to healing. We welcome diverse perspectives and honest questions, but we don't tolerate personal attacks, spam, or content that could harm others on their healing journey.