Episode 16: What is the Best Way to Help Our Families Heal From Their Traumas? with Dr. Aimie Apigian

Listen to Episode 16 with Heather →

The Truth About Healing Your Family

You've done the work. You've healed your own Biology of Trauma®. You've watched your nervous system shift, your patterns change, and your life transform.

Now you look at your family and see their pain clearly. You recognize their trauma patterns. You understand what's keeping them stuck. And you want desperately to help them heal too.

Here's the truth you need to hear: you can't heal your family's trauma for them.

But your own healing creates ripples. Heather discovered this after taking the 21-Day Journey to Calm Aliveness.

Heather joins me today to share her experience. She saw such shifts in herself that she continued with mentor training. Now she leads somatic exercises and supports others on their healing path. We tackle the real question: how do you help your family heal?

Heather's Journey From Student to Mentor

Heather started with the 21-Day Journey addressing her own trauma. The changes in her biology were undeniable. Her nervous system responded differently. Her patterns shifted in ways talk therapy never touched.

She experienced what it means to work with the Biology of Trauma® rather than just understanding it cognitively. She felt her body learning new responses, her freeze thawing gradually, her window of tolerance expanding, and her capacity for regulation growing.

After experiencing the impact herself, Heather wanted to support others. She completed the mentor training program where she learned to hold space without fixing, guide somatic work without overwhelming, support the pace each body needs, and trust the process rather than pushing results.

Now she guides people through somatic exercises and witnesses their nervous systems beginning to shift. She's become the regulated presence that helped her heal, and she's offering that to others on the same path.

The Ripple Effect You Can't Control

As Heather healed, her family noticed. Not because she told them about her work or tried to teach them. They noticed because her regulation affected their regulation. Her presence changed the family dynamic.

This is how nervous systems work. They're constantly communicating with each other. When you become more regulated, the people around you feel it. When you model what safety looks like, others' nervous systems register it.

But here's what Heather learned the hard way: you can't force family healing. You can't make your family address their trauma. You can't heal them by proxy. Each person's nervous system is their own, with its own timeline and its own requirements.

The hard truth includes that you can't want healing for someone more than they want it themselves, your understanding of their trauma doesn't give you access to fix it, explaining the Biology of Trauma® doesn't change their biology, and you can't regulate someone else's nervous system long-term.

This doesn't mean your healing doesn't matter to your family. It absolutely does. But it matters in ways you can't control or predict.

What You Can Actually Do

Be the regulated presence in the room. Model what safety looks like. Let your healing speak louder than your words.

When you stay regulated in moments that used to dysregulate you, your family notices. When you respond differently to old triggers, the family system feels it. When you hold boundaries without aggression or collapse, you offer a new pattern.

Heather learned the difference between offering tools and forcing change. Between sharing what helped you and insisting others do the same. Between being available and taking responsibility for everyone else's healing.

What you can do is respond to your own nervous system first, model regulation without explaining it, offer resources when asked rather than pushing them, hold space for your family without fixing them, and trust that your healing creates possibility for theirs.

There's a difference between leading and pushing. Leading means going first and letting others follow if and when they're ready. Pushing means trying to drag people along your timeline instead of trusting their own.

The mentor role that Heather trained for applies at home too. You hold space without fixing. You trust the process. You remember that each person's nervous system knows what it needs and when it's ready.

This Episode Is For:

✓ People wanting to help family members who won't seek help themselves 

✓ Anyone who's healed and wonders how to share that with loved ones 

✓ Those considering becoming mentors for others on this path 

✓ Anyone frustrated by family members who won't do the work 

✓ People learning to trust ripple effects instead of forcing change 

✓ Those interested in supporting others through somatic healing

What You'll Learn

Listen to hear Heather's story from student to mentor. Understand how to support family healing without taking responsibility for everyone else's nervous system. Learn what you can actually do to help the people you love.

Your healing matters more than you know. But it matters in ways you can't control.

Listen to Episode 16 with Heather →

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information shared reflects my clinical expertise and research, but every person's biology and healing journey is unique. Always consult with qualified healthcare providers before making changes to your treatment plan or starting new interventions. If you're experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact emergency services or a crisis helpline immediately.

Join the Conversation

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this episode. What resonated with you? What questions came up?

Please keep comments respectful and supportive. This is a community of people committed to healing. We welcome diverse perspectives and honest questions, but we don't tolerate personal attacks, spam, or content that could harm others on their healing journey.