Episode 23: What is The Parasympathetic State and Why Does it Matter? with Dr. Aimie Apigian

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Why You Can't Relax No Matter How Hard You Try

You try to rest but your body won't let you. You lie down but your mind races. You know you need to relax but your nervous system stays activated no matter what you do.

Everyone tells you to just calm down, meditate, or take deep breaths. You've tried all of that and nothing works because the problem isn't your effort or willpower.

Your parasympathetic state controls rest, digestion, and healing. Without access to it, your body can't repair itself. Understanding this changes how you approach trauma healing.

Today I break down the vagus nerve and parasympathetic state, explaining what they actually do in your body and why stored trauma blocks your access to them.

What the Parasympathetic State Actually Does

This is your rest-and-digest mode, the state when your nervous system feels safe enough to relax, heal, and restore energy. Your parasympathetic state is when digestion works properly, sleep restores you, immune function improves, wounds heal, stress hormones decrease, and your body redirects energy toward repair rather than defense.

Your vagus nerve is the main highway for parasympathetic signals. It connects your brain to your heart, lungs, digestive system, and other organs. It tells your body when it's safe to let down its guard and shift from survival mode into restoration mode.

Most people assume they can access this state whenever they want by deciding to relax or taking a day off. But stored trauma keeps your nervous system in defensive mode through sympathetic activation or freeze responses. Your body doesn't feel safe enough for true parasympathetic rest even when your conscious mind knows you're not in danger.

When trauma lives in your biology, your nervous system stays vigilant and scanning for threats. It can't fully shift into rest mode even when you're trying to relax because the trauma stored in your cells keeps signaling danger.

Why This Matters for Healing

Your body heals in parasympathetic state, which is when cellular repair happens, inflammation decreases, digestion processes nutrients properly, sleep actually restores you, and your immune system functions optimally. Without access to this state, healing stalls no matter what other interventions you try.

You can take all the supplements, eat perfectly, and do all the right therapies, but if your nervous system can't shift into parasympathetic mode, your body can't use those resources for healing. You're constantly diverting energy toward defense and survival rather than repair and restoration.

This is why people with stored trauma often have digestive issues that won't resolve, sleep problems that persist despite good sleep hygiene, immune dysfunction that leads to frequent illness, chronic inflammation that drives disease, and fatigue that rest doesn't fix. Their nervous systems can't access the state where healing happens because unresolved trauma keeps their biology on guard.

Understanding the Biology of Trauma® reveals why rest-based interventions don't work for trauma clients until you address what's blocking parasympathetic access. You can't meditate your way into a state your nervous system doesn't feel safe enough to enter.

Building Parasympathetic Capacity

You can't force your way into parasympathetic state through willpower or determination. You have to build safety slowly in your nervous system through micro-moments of regulation that accumulate over time.

This requires working with your vagus nerve to increase its tone and capacity. You need to address the stored trauma that keeps your system in defense mode. You must create enough nervous system stability that your body believes it's safe to rest. You have to honor your biology's pace rather than pushing it to relax on demand.

Building parasympathetic capacity means practicing small moments of safety and regulation, using tools that support vagal tone, addressing trauma at the biological level where it's stored, being patient with your nervous system's timeline, and recognizing that forcing relaxation often backfires by creating more stress.

Whether you're healing yourself or helping clients, understanding this biology matters profoundly. You can't skip the nervous system stabilization piece and jump straight to deep trauma processing. You can't demand that someone relax when their biology is screaming danger. You can't override stored trauma with relaxation techniques alone.

For practitioners working with trauma clients, this understanding changes your entire approach. You recognize why someone can't just breathe deeply and calm down. You understand why progressive muscle relaxation might not work. You know that building parasympathetic capacity must come before deeper trauma work or the client will keep getting overwhelmed.

This Episode Is For:

✓ People who can't seem to relax even when they try 

✓ Anyone whose body feels constantly on guard 

✓ Practitioners needing to understand why rest-based interventions don't work for trauma clients 

✓ Those with digestive, sleep, or immune issues that won't resolve 

✓ Anyone frustrated by their inability to access calm states 

✓ People ready to understand the biological blocks to relaxation

What You'll Learn

Listen to understand what the parasympathetic state is and why it's essential for healing. Discover why stored trauma blocks your access to rest and repair. Learn how to build your capacity to access the parasympathetic state through working with your Biology of Trauma®.

Your body wants to heal, but it needs to feel safe enough to do so.

Listen to Episode 23 →

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information shared reflects my clinical expertise and research, but every person's biology and healing journey is unique. Always consult with qualified healthcare providers before making changes to your treatment plan or starting new interventions. If you're experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact emergency services or a crisis helpline immediately.

Join the Conversation

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this episode. What resonated with you? What questions came up?

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