Episode 83: Breaking Free: How to Get Out of the Stress-Trauma Cycle by Using the Science of Anxiety with Emma McAdams

Listen to Episode 83 with Emma McAdams →

When Your Nervous System Is Trying to Tell You Something

You've tried everything to eliminate your anxiety. Breathing exercises, meditation, medication, avoiding triggers. But the anxiety keeps returning or shifting to new situations. You're exhausted from fighting what feels like an enemy inside your own body.

What if anxiety isn't the problem but actually your nervous system trying to communicate something important?

Can you use your anxiety to help you instead of constantly fighting it? Yes, you can. Anxiety isn't your enemy but communication from your nervous system that deserves attention rather than suppression.

Emma McAdams joins me today as a licensed marriage and family therapist who's worked in juvenile corrections, adventure therapy, high schools, and wilderness therapy programs. We discuss the difference between stress and anxiety, why anxiety isn't actually bad, and what to do when you feel it in your body.

Understanding What Drives Anxiety

Is it possible to use anxiety as a way to help you rather than viewing it as something to eliminate? Most people try to make anxiety go away completely. Emma shows how working with anxiety instead of against it creates better outcomes and reduces the suffering anxiety causes.

Anxiety doesn't just appear randomly in your nervous system. Specific behavioral patterns create and maintain anxiety over time. Understanding these patterns changes everything about how you approach anxiety because you can address what feeds it rather than just trying to suppress the feeling itself.

Different forms of avoidance contribute to anxiety more than most people realize. Some avoidance is obvious like not going to social events because they trigger anxiety. Some avoidance is hidden like staying perpetually busy to avoid feeling anxious or using substances to numb uncomfortable sensations. All forms of avoidance teach your nervous system that the world isn't safe and that you can't handle what anxiety brings.

What's actually causing your anxiety might surprise you. Here's the hint: it's not the trigger itself that creates anxiety. Emma explains what really drives anxiety beneath the surface situations that seem to cause it. This reframe changes how you approach anxiety from trying to eliminate triggers to addressing the actual source of your nervous system's alarm.

Understanding the Biology of Trauma® reveals why anxiety persists even when you've processed traumatic memories or changed your thinking patterns. Your nervous system learned through experience that certain situations or sensations signal danger. That learning lives in your body and nervous system rather than just in your thoughts, which is why cognitive approaches alone often don't resolve anxiety completely.

Stress Versus Anxiety

The difference between stress and anxiety matters more than most people realize. Stress and anxiety aren't the same thing despite being used interchangeably. Your body responds differently to stress versus anxiety. Treating anxiety like stress through stress management techniques doesn't work because you're addressing the wrong nervous system state.

Stress represents your body's response to actual demands or threats in your present environment. Your nervous system activates appropriately to handle the real challenge in front of you. Anxiety involves your nervous system activating in response to perceived threats, past experiences, or future possibilities rather than present danger. This distinction matters for how you work with each.

Hidden anxiety operates beneath your conscious awareness affecting your body and behavior. Sometimes you don't recognize anxiety affecting you because it manifests as physical symptoms, irritability, or difficulty concentrating rather than the feeling you label as anxiety. Emma shares how to spot hidden anxiety that's impacting your nervous system even when you don't feel explicitly anxious.

Messages from anxiety provide valuable information when you learn to listen instead of immediately trying to shut the feeling down. Your anxiety carries specific messages about what your nervous system perceives as threatening or what needs attention in your life. Learning to listen to anxiety changes it from enemy to information source that can actually guide you toward what needs addressing.

Working With Anxiety Practically

Middle-of-the-night anxiety that wakes you at 3 AM has specific causes that Emma explains clearly. What's happening in your body and nervous system during those early morning wake-ups involves cortisol patterns, blood sugar fluctuations, and your nervous system's lowered threshold for activation during sleep. Understanding the mechanism helps you respond effectively instead of lying there panicking about being anxious.

Why anxiety isn't bad becomes clear when you understand its purpose in your nervous system. Anxiety serves as your nervous system's alarm system designed to keep you safe by alerting you to potential threats. The problem isn't anxiety itself but rather how you respond to it. When you fight anxiety or avoid it, you amplify the alarm rather than addressing what triggered it.

Using anxiety as a tool involves understanding what your anxiety is trying to communicate so it becomes useful information rather than just suffering. Your nervous system is communicating through anxiety about something it perceives as important for your safety or wellbeing. Emma teaches how to listen to these messages and respond to what your nervous system actually needs rather than just trying to silence the alarm.

The behavioral patterns behind anxiety include avoidance that maintains and strengthens anxiety over time, safety behaviors that prevent your nervous system from learning you can handle situations, rumination that keeps your nervous system activated without resolution, and perfectionism that creates impossible standards your nervous system perceives as threats to your safety or belonging.

Breaking Free From the Cycle

Breaking free from the stress-trauma-anxiety cycle requires understanding how these elements interact and maintain each other. Trauma creates nervous system dysregulation that makes you more vulnerable to anxiety. Anxiety creates stress on your body that feels like ongoing threat. That stress reinforces the trauma patterns in your nervous system. The cycle continues unless you address it systematically.

Emma emphasizes that working with anxiety doesn't mean you'll never feel anxious. Anxiety is a normal human emotion that serves important functions. The goal isn't elimination but rather changing your relationship with anxiety so it informs you without controlling you. You learn to hear what your nervous system is communicating without letting anxiety dictate all your choices.

Practical approaches to working with anxiety include noticing what triggers anxiety without immediately avoiding or suppressing it, tracking what your anxiety might be trying to communicate about your needs or boundaries, gradually approaching rather than avoiding situations that trigger anxiety to teach your nervous system they're safe, and building nervous system capacity through regulation practices rather than just managing symptoms.

The integration of understanding anxiety's messages with the Biology of Trauma® approach creates comprehensive healing. Your trauma healing benefits from working with anxiety skillfully rather than viewing it as proof that you're not healing. Your anxiety reduces as you address the trauma patterns that created nervous system vulnerability. Both aspects support each other when you work with anxiety as information rather than enemy.

This Episode Is For:

✓ People struggling with chronic anxiety that doesn't respond to typical interventions 

✓ Anyone who avoids situations or feelings that trigger anxiety 

✓ Practitioners wanting to help clients use anxiety as information instead of fighting it 

✓ Those who wake with anxiety in the middle of the night 

✓ Anyone whose anxiety seems to come from nowhere 

✓ People ready to change their relationship with anxiety

What You'll Learn

Listen to understand the difference between stress and anxiety and why your anxiety is trying to help you rather than hurt you. Discover what's actually causing your anxiety beneath the surface triggers. Learn how to work with anxiety as communication from your nervous system instead of treating it as an enemy to eliminate.

Your anxiety carries messages your nervous system needs you to hear.

Listen to Episode 83 with Emma McAdams →

Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information shared reflects my clinical expertise and research, but every person's biology and healing journey is unique. Always consult with qualified healthcare providers before making changes to your treatment plan or starting new interventions. If you're experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact emergency services or a crisis helpline immediately.

Join the Conversation

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this episode. What resonated with you? What questions came up?

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