Episode 182: Eustress vs Distress: What the Difference Means for Your Body, with Dr. David Rabin
- 2 days ago
- 10 min read
Updated: 5 hours ago
You were handed one instruction about stress. Reduce it. Manage it. Self-care it away. You followed it for years, and the exhaustion underneath never lifted.
Eustress vs distress: the difference that decides what stress does to you. Eustress is stress that promotes growth, it builds skill and capacity and leaves you stronger on the other side. Distress is stress carried over time without recovery, and it moves the body toward disease.
Stress was never the enemy. Your body was built to use it. What wears you down is chronic stress with no recovery on the other side. Translational neuroscientist and psychiatrist Dr. David Rabin, author of A Simple Guide to Being Alive, has spent more than 20 years studying stress, trauma, and the nervous system, and his research points to a simple equation: eustress, multiplied by time, equals ease.
Dr. Aimie and Dr. Rabin walk through what makes the difference between the two. Your body assigns meaning to a stressor before you are aware of it, and that meaning shapes what happens next. They cover why growth is still possible decades after a traumatic event, how touch and other soothing sensations signal safety to the vagus nerve, and why rest can feel unsafe even though rest is where resilience comes from.
In This Episode You'll Learn:
01:25: What does the equation eustress x time = ease actually mean?
06:19: How does the meaning you carry from the past shape your stress response?
07:37: Can a person experience post-traumatic growth decades later?
09:19: What creates safety so the body can reorganize?
11:00: Why is soothing touch such a powerful signal of safety?
13:55: Why is rest the key to resilience, and where do you start if you cannot rest?
This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation. Part 2 is here.
"Stress is commonly misunderstood as just one thing, and it's actually not one thing, it's two things. It's distress and eustress."
— Dr. David Rabin
Key Takeaways
Stress is not one thing; there is good stress and bad stress
Good stress promotes growth, and bad stress over time wears the body down
The question you ask about a stressor shapes which kind it becomes
Trauma teaches the body to brace, and life can narrow into survival
For many people, it can feel unsafe to feel safe at first
Rest and safety are the ground that resilience grows from
Small doses of safety help a guarded nervous system settle
Heart rate variability is a readout of vagus nerve activity and resilience
Growth is still possible long after a hard experience
A simple gratitude practice helps the body feel safer over time
Feeling alive is a move from contraction and survival toward opening up
Notable Quotes
"Any sensation that brings us back into the body and allows it to feel safe and soothed amplifies vagus nerve activity, which kicks on the body's recovery and safety responses almost instantly." — Dr. David Rabin
"For people who have come to believe that hypervigilance is the only way to survive in the world, it almost cannot feel safe to feel safe at first." — Dr. Aimie Apigian
"Rest is our best way of showing our bodies and ourselves that we are worthy of love without having to do anything." Dr. David Rabin
Episode Takeaway
Stress was never the enemy. Your body was designed to use it and grow. The wear comes from stress that never gets a recovery on the other side.
Two things decide which way a stressor moves you. The meaning your body assigns it. And the rest that follows it.
Your body carries a signature of safety. Vagal activity rises when you feel soothed. Touch does it. So does a song, a pet, a moment of stillness.
This is the part I want you to hold. If rest feels unsafe, that makes sense. Hypervigilance was once how you stayed safe. We get to build safety slowly, in small doses, with curiosity. That is how you become a better partner with your body.
Resources/Guides:
Get the “Is It Stress or Trauma” Guide Know whether what your body is carrying is stress or something deeper.
The Biology of Trauma Recommended reading: chapter 2, on the difference between stress and trauma
Related Podcast Episodes:
EP 178: What Your Eyes Reveal About Your Attachment & Stress | Dr. Bryce Appelbaum
EP 183: Part 2 of this conversation with Dr. David Rabin (live July 16, 2026)
About the Guest:
Dr. Dave Rabin, MD, PhD, is a translational neuroscientist and board-certified psychiatrist. He is a senior research scientist at the Florida Institute for Human and Machine Cognition (IHMC), Executive Director of The Board of Medicine, and the co-founder and Chief Medical Officer of Apollo Neuroscience. He has studied chronic stress in humans for more than twenty years, with a focus on non-invasive therapies for treatment-resistant illness. His research includes the mechanisms of psychedelic medicines and MDMA-assisted therapy for severe PTSD. He received his MD and PhD in neuroscience from Albany Medical College and trained in psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic. His book, A Simple Guide to Being Alive (June 2026), is a science-backed manual for anyone who has felt overwhelmed by the modern world.
Get Dr. Rabin’s Book:
Your host: Dr. Aimie Apigian is a double board-certified physician in Preventive and Addiction Medicine, author of the national bestselling book The Biology of Trauma (foreword by Gabor Maté) and the founder of the Biology of Trauma® framework that reshapes how we understand the way the body experiences and holds trauma. She holds master's degrees in biochemistry and public health. After foster-adopting a child during medical school set her on this path, she desperately sought for answers that would only continue as she developed chronic health issues. Through her Biology of Trauma® practitioner training, podcast, YouTube channel, and international speaking, Dr. Aimie bridges functional medicine, attachment science, and trauma therapy, with a focus on facilitating accelerated repair of trauma's impact on the mind, body, and biology.
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What is the difference between eustress and distress?
Eustress and distress are two forms of stress. Eustress promotes growth and learning. Distress, carried over time, wears the body down toward disease.
Dr. Aimie has taught for years that stress builds us when recovery follows. Dr. Rabin gives that idea an equation.
Eustress is the stress of learning to read. Of learning to ride a bike. It is hard and often frustrating. You come out stronger, holding a skill you did not have.
Distress is the other form. Doom scrolling. The news while your heart races. It leaves you feeling more out of control than before.
The equation is simple. Eustress times time equals ease. Distress times time equals disease.
What does chronic stress do to the body?
In chronic stress, blood routes to the skeletal muscles for fight or flight. The organs receive fewer resources, and normal repair stalls.
This is the biology Dr. Aimie writes about in chapter 2. Dr. Rabin describes the same picture from his clinical work.
Blood goes where survival needs it. The organ systems get less. Function slows, then regresses. The body switches from repair to defense.
This is the pattern of Dysregulation. A nervous system on alert cannot run recovery at the same time.
What turns a stressor into eustress instead of distress?
The meaning you assign it. Self-blame pulls a stressor toward distress. The question "What can I learn here?" pulls it toward growth.
Dr. Rabin locates much of the difference in one internal question.
One version pulls toward distress. "Why is this happening to me? What is wrong with me?" It reads the moment as your fault. It deepens the sense of threat.
A different question opens another path. "What can I learn, and how can I grow from this?" You stop labeling the moment as bad. You start building skill.
Dr. Aimie takes it a layer deeper. Those questions are rarely conscious. Your body answers them from meaning it formed long ago.
If your body already decided you are a failure, every stressor confirms it. That is what drops a person into distress and holds them there.
This is a Biology of Trauma® reframe. We get to ask better questions. Better questions open a different biology.
Can I experience post-traumatic growth years later?
Post-traumatic growth is possible decades after the event. The nervous system can relearn safety and re-form the meaning it carries.
Dr. Aimie asks Dr. Rabin the question directly. Can a person grow from something traumatic, or is it too late?
His answer is direct. Every hardship is an opening for growth. The timing of the original event does not close the door.
He describes people reworking the meaning of childhood experiences decades later. They describe the shift as one of the most meaningful of their lives.
The mechanism is not mysterious. Neural networks around safety can be rewired. The body can be reconditioned to default back to feeling safe.
How does the body create a felt sense of safety?
The body's signature of safety is rising vagus nerve activity. Soothing touch signals it fastest, and any soothing sensation can raise it.
This is the ground Dr. Aimie builds every protocol on. Safety comes first, then support, then expansion.
Dr. Rabin arrived at the same place through the PTSD literature. He saw a fear-learning pattern. The body links fear to things that are not threatening.
So he asked what safety looks like inside the body. One answer held across animals and humans. Vagus nerve activity goes up.
Why does touch work so quickly?
Soothing touch is non-verbal and evolutionarily old. It is our first signal of safety as newborns, familiar from the womb.
Touch is the first safe communication we have. Before language, an infant is held and knows it is safe enough for the next moment.
Touch from someone you trust reaches the system governing safety, recovery, and repair. That system runs digestion, immunity, sleep, metabolism, and connection.
Touch is one path among many. Any soothing sensation can raise vagal activity. A favorite song on a hard day. A pet. Waves at a sunset.
Why does it feel unsafe to feel safe?
When staying alert was how you stayed safe, calm can register as risk. Safety has to be built slowly, in small doses.
Dr. Aimie names the practice she starts people with. She calls it microdosing safety.
Many people have spent years avoiding their body. Sensation felt like something to push past. Safety is unfamiliar ground.
If hypervigilance was the only way you knew to be safe, lowering it feels like exposure. That makes sense given what your body learned.
Dr. Rabin sees the same thing in his high-performing patients. Letting go of control is one of the hardest asks.
Why is rest the key to resilience?
Rest is where growth happens after stress. Without recovery, capacity does not build, and the body moves toward burnout.
Dr. Aimie and Dr. Rabin agree on this point. Rest is the ground resilience grows from.
For a perfectionist, rest asks for something new. It asks you to be worthy without producing anything.
Dr. Rabin describes stillness as a return to the present. The world keeps going while you do nothing. Noticing that is its own kind of proof.
How do I start resting if I cannot slow down?
Recovery is not optional. Rest is what allows the body to keep running well, and it comes through practice rather than theory.
Dr. Rabin describes three kinds of tools in what he calls the emotional toolbox. Cognitive tools, which build an accurate picture of the body. Emotional tools, which are about feeling. Behavioral tools, which are the actions you take.
All three matter, and the third is where the shift happens. Your nervous system changes through experience. The practice does the work.
He puts it plainly. The body is a high-performance vehicle. It runs on fuel and it needs maintenance. Skip the maintenance and you run out of gas.
This names the pattern of Depletion. Running the body without recovery ends in burnout. Dr. Rabin calls burnout avoidable with steady, basic care.
FAQ
What does eustress vs distress mean?
Eustress and distress are two forms of stress. Eustress promotes growth and learning. Distress, carried over time, wears the body down toward disease. The same event can become either one. What happens after it decides which.
Why am I exhausted even though I manage my stress?
Surface-level stress management does not settle a nervous system on alert. The exhaustion often comes from a body that never gets the signal to rest. Without recovery, the capacity never rebuilds.
Can I still grow from trauma that happened years ago?
Yes. Post-traumatic growth is possible decades later. The nervous system can relearn safety. It can re-form the meaning it carries about the past. The timing of the original event does not close the door.
How do I help my body feel safe?
Your body registers safety as rising vagus nerve activity. Soothing touch signals it fastest, especially from someone you trust. Any soothing sensation can help. A favorite song, a pet, a moment of stillness.
Why does rest feel so hard for me?
When staying alert was how you stayed safe, rest can register as risk. For high performers, rest also asks you to be worthy without producing. Building safety in small doses is where it starts to shift.
Is burnout avoidable?
Dr. Rabin describes burnout as avoidable with basic, steady care of the body. Recovery keeps the system running well over time. Without it, the fuel runs out.
How do I know if what I am carrying is stress or something deeper?
Stress tends to settle once the pressure passes and recovery follows. When the exhaustion stays, and rest no longer restores you, something deeper may be at work. A free guide on the difference between stress and trauma can help you tell them apart.
Helpful Research:
McEwen BS. Central effects of stress hormones in health and disease: Understanding the protective and damaging effects of stress and stress mediators. European Journal of Pharmacology. 2007;583(2-3):174-185.
Chrousos GP. Stress and disorders of the stress system. Nature Reviews Endocrinology. 2009;5(7):374-381.
Porges SW. The polyvagal theory: phylogenetic substrates of a social nervous system. International Journal of Psychophysiology. 2001;42(2):123-146.
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