Why Do I Feel Worse Coming Out of Functional Freeze? Riding the Waves, with Dr. Aimie Apigian
This episode follows How to Get Out of Functional Freeze: Microdose Safety, Then Give Your Freeze Time (Episode 204).
Feeling worse as you come out of functional freeze usually means the activation that was held under the freeze is finally surfacing. Anxiety, anger, irritability and restless nights can show up after years of feeling nothing, and that is not the same as going backwards.
Many people start giving their body moments of safety and then feel things they have not felt in a long time. "I thought I was getting better and now I'm going backwards" is something Dr. Aimie hears often.
In this solo episode, Dr. Aimie Apigian, a double board-certified physician in preventive medicine and addiction medicine and author of The Biology of Trauma, explains what to expect as a chronic functional freeze starts to move, how to ride each wave all the way through, how the body finishes a trauma response, and why the calm does not always last yet.
TL;DR: When a chronic functional freeze starts to move, the anxiety, anger and restlessness held under the brake of the freeze come to the surface, and that is the body trying to complete what it could not complete before. It comes in waves. With support and skills, each wave can be ridden all the way through, and the body finishes the response with shaking, sighs or a spontaneous deep breath. When the calm does not last, it is often because there are many more waves to ride and because a biology of trauma, such as brain inflammation, keeps feeding the loop.
WHY DO I FEEL WORSE AS I COME OUT OF FUNCTIONAL FREEZE?
Because the activation that was underneath the brake of the freeze is finally surfacing. As you give your body moments of safety, you may feel anxious for the first time in a long time without knowing why, feel angry or irritable, or have a hard time sleeping when you used to sleep well.
Dr. Aimie hears it often: "I thought I was getting better and now I'm going backwards." She explains that this is not necessarily true. One woman she worked with, whom she calls Claire, said it this way: "When I first started feeling anxiety after feeling nothing for so long, I thought I was getting worse." She was not getting worse. She was coming out of a chronic functional freeze.
WHAT WAS UNDER THE FREEZE THE WHOLE TIME?
The panic and anxiety from the original event, which never completed. Dr. Aimie compares the acute freeze to a car in a moment of panic: the gas pedal is on with the panic and anxiety, and the emergency brake of paralysis is on at the same time.
The emergency brake did not remove the activation. The anxiety and panic were overpowered by the freeze, not resolved because the danger was over. When you begin providing the safety your body never had before, it is like releasing the brake and seeing everything that was underneath the whole time.
Safety creates space: Dr. Aimie's phrase for what happens as the body starts to feel safe. Feelings that were buried come to the surface once there is room for them.
WHY DOES THE BODY NEED SUPPORT ONCE SAFETY OPENS THINGS UP?
Because safety lets what is buried surface, and support is what lets the body move through it. Support is the second step in the essential sequence for what the body needs, after safety.
The activation that surfaces is the restlessness, the anxiety and the anger. Without support, the nervous system sees the anxiety and panic and decides nothing has changed. It still feels like too much, so the body hits the third step of its trauma response, the wall, and goes back into freeze and shutdown. With support, we learn to stay present with the anxiety and the anger so they can move through and complete.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO RIDE A WAVE ALL THE WAY THROUGH?
It means staying present with a feeling until it completes, instead of leaving it halfway. Dr. Aimie thinks of it as surfing: if you jump off the board halfway through a wave, you have not completed the wave, and the resolution is at the end of it.
Staying present and letting the anger and activation move through is a skill, and it can be learned. When it happens, it brings resolution to what has been stored, and that is when healing really starts to move.
Riding a wave all the way through: staying present with a surge of stored activation, such as anxiety or anger, until it completes and resolves, instead of pulling away halfway.
WHY DOES COMING OUT OF FREEZE COME IN WAVES?
Because the body brings up stored charge when it feels ready to ride it through to completion. This is the second thing Dr. Aimie says to expect: as the freeze moves, it frees up energy, and that energy needs to move again or the body goes back into collapse.
We do not need to go looking for waves or force them. We go about daily life, and when a wave comes, we ride it out. Dr. Aimie describes her own waves as coming in different sizes, at times she cannot predict, so what matters is having the skills and the confidence to ride any of them. If she is afraid of a wave, she blocks her ability to stay present to it and reach the resolution on the other side.
WHAT IF EVEN SMALL FEELINGS FEEL UNMANAGEABLE?
Then the work starts with learning that you can feel uncomfortable and still be okay. Dr. Aimie has worked with many people who could not tolerate even small waves at first, because they had lived disconnected from their bodies for so long that any feeling seemed like too much.
Those people often prefer to stay in their head: analyzing, ruminating and worrying, anything but feeling. When a wave does feel too big, Dr. Aimie suggests pacing it instead of going back into overwhelm: gently pushing the big feeling away to keep it manageable, not to avoid it, and saying, "I see you, and not right now." The aim is to get away from the big ups and big downs and open things up slowly.
WHY DOES DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN THOSE MOMENTS MATTER?
Because any redirection away from a lifelong pattern of overwhelm is a growth step in itself. Choosing to pace a big feeling, instead of going into overwhelm, is the nervous system doing something different from what its old pathways would have it do.
Dr. Aimie describes neuroplasticity as the ability of the brain and nervous system to form neural pathways. When we go down a pathway often enough, it becomes a highway, so stepping off it is significant and worth celebrating. She suggests saying to yourself, "I can do uncomfortable."
Neuroplasticity: in Dr. Aimie's words, "the ability of our nervous system, brain and nervous system, to form these neural pathways."
HOW DOES THE BODY FINISH A TRAUMA RESPONSE?
By doing what it is designed to do when we stop blocking it. As a freeze starts to complete, the body may tremble or shake as activation discharges, or take big sighs and deep breaths.
We often block these responses because they look strange or we do not have time. Dr. Aimie explains that we do not need to control the process, or even know the story of why it got there; we create the environment for the body to process and resolve these responses in its own timing. She compares the adrenaline from a moment of panic to calories that need to be used up: because the body froze instead of moving, it never used that energy, which is why the muscles may tremble now as it discharges.
HOW DO I KNOW A WAVE HAS COMPLETED?
Look for a spontaneous deep breath that you did not plan or tell your body to take. Dr. Aimie is clear that this is not a call to do breath work, which forces the breath deeper.
She points to dogs and cats: they find their spot, circle a little, settle in just the right way, and then take a deep sigh, and they may fall asleep. That deep breath is a sign of how safe they feel. In the same way, a spontaneous deep breath tells us the panic and anxiety have ridden all the way out.
WHY DOESN'T THE CALM LAST?
Because one wave is one of many, and because the body's biology may still be sending danger cues. After riding one wave, we can feel calm and peace and hope it is our new normal. Dr. Aimie calls it one wave out of a thousand that we may need to ride.
Every wave ridden all the way through forms a new neural pathway that teaches the nervous system what to do when anxiety hits, instead of going into overwhelm. Resolving it in the moment also helps us not accumulate more stored trauma.
HOW CAN MY BIOLOGY PULL ME BACK INTO FREEZE?
Decades in a background sense of danger leave a footprint on the immune system, the digestive system and the hormones, and that biology can keep feeding the freeze. Dr. Aimie calls this a biology of trauma, and the goal is to shift it toward a biology of safety.
She gives brain inflammation as an example: she explains that it comes from being in a freeze response and can also create one, because the nervous system reads it as a cue of danger. We can do a somatic exercise, ride the wave and feel safe for a moment, and five minutes later be back in anxiety or depression. That is not doing it wrong. It is biology pulling the body back into a state that makes sense for how we have lived.
In her book, Dr. Aimie calls this the body trauma loop, a feedback loop fed both by danger and by biology. Addressing the danger alone will not stop the loop while the biology is still feeding it.
Biology of trauma: the footprint that long-term stored trauma leaves on the body's systems, including the immune system, digestion and hormones, which can itself keep the body in a trauma response.
Body trauma loop: Dr. Aimie's term for the feedback loop in which danger and the biology created by stored trauma both keep the body in its trauma response.
WHERE DO I START WITH THE BIOLOGY?
With the basics, one at a time. Dr. Aimie names sleep, daily rhythms, energy, magnesium, more protein and possibly more fat in the diet to help stabilize blood sugar.
She lays out the full list, including supplements, in Chapter 18 of The Biology of Trauma. Her advice is to start with what you can and keep it manageable before adding the next thing, because one tool you actually do is better than all the great ideas you never get to. Please talk with your own healthcare provider before starting supplements or changing your diet.
WHAT DID SELIGMAN'S DOG EXPERIMENTS SHOW ABOUT GETTING AGENCY BACK?
That agency came back through the body, by moving through the escape again and again. In the 1960s, psychologist Martin Seligman and colleagues found that dogs first exposed to shocks they could not escape later failed to escape when escape was possible (Seligman and Maier, 1967).
Dr. Aimie sees this as part of the pattern of stored trauma. What helped the dogs was the researchers physically moving their legs through the escape motion, over and over, until the dogs learned to escape on their own (Seligman, Maier and Geer, 1968). She explains that small, guided experiences of returning our inner physiology to safety do the same thing: they show the body again and again that it can get out of danger and back to feeling safe.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Feeling worse as a chronic functional freeze starts to move is often the old activation surfacing, not going backwards.
Anxiety, anger, irritability and restless nights can show up after years of feeling nothing.
In an acute freeze, the gas pedal of panic and the emergency brake of paralysis are on together; the brake held the activation down without completing it.
Safety creates space, and support is the next step that lets the body move through what surfaces.
Riding a wave all the way through means staying present until the feeling completes; it is a skill that can be learned.
Waves come in different sizes and at unpredictable times; we do not need to go looking for them.
If a wave feels too big, pacing it ("I see you, and not right now") is a growth step, not avoidance.
The body finishes a response in its own way, such as trembling, shaking or a spontaneous deep breath.
The calm may not last yet because there are many waves to ride and because a biology of trauma can keep feeding the body trauma loop.
Start the biology with the basics, one manageable step at a time.
NOTABLE QUOTES
"When we start coming out of a functional freeze, it often feels like we are getting worse. Anxiety, anger, and restlessness show up after years of feeling nothing." ~ Dr. Aimie Apigian
"The emergency brake of the freeze didn't remove the activation. The anxiety and the panic were just squashed. They never actually completed." ~ Dr. Aimie Apigian
"As we start to create moments of safety, it's like releasing the brake and seeing everything that was overpowered and underneath the whole time." ~ Dr. Aimie Apigian
"Staying present and letting anger and activation move through us is a skill. When we learn it, we finally bring resolution to what has been stored." ~ Dr. Aimie Apigian
"When these waves of emotion show up, it feels awful, scary and uncomfortable, because these are the emotions we couldn't feel before. That is why they got buried." ~ Dr. Aimie Apigian
"If I am afraid of a wave of emotion, I block my ability to stay present to it and reach the resolution on the other side." ~ Dr. Aimie Apigian
"If I accidentally open something up and it feels too big, I can choose to push it away and say, 'I see you, and not right now.'" ~ Dr. Aimie Apigian
"We can ride one wave, feel a moment of calm and peace, and hope it is our new normal. It's not quite our new normal yet. That is one wave out of a thousand we may need to ride as we open up a chronic functional freeze." ~ Dr. Aimie Apigian
"When the calm doesn't last, it's not that we're doing it wrong. Our biology is pulling us back into a state that makes perfect sense for how we have lived life." ~ Dr. Aimie Apigian
"One tool you actually use is better than all the great ideas you never get to." ~ Dr. Aimie Apigian
"When you feel more activation, have hope. You are on your way back home to yourself, and you're not doing anything wrong." ~ Dr. Aimie Apigian
EPISODE TAKEAWAY
So many people tell me the same thing once they start giving their body moments of safety: "I thought I was getting better and now I'm going backwards." Anxiety shows up out of nowhere. Anger and irritability arrive without a reason. Sleep that used to be fine turns restless. After years of feeling nothing, feeling this much can be frightening.
Here is what is happening. When the body went into freeze during the original event, it was like a car in a moment of panic, with the gas pedal of panic and anxiety pressed down and the emergency brake of paralysis pulled at the same time. The brake did not remove the activation. It overpowered it. The anxiety and panic were squashed, never completed. So when you begin giving your body the safety it never had, you release the brake and start to see everything that was underneath the whole time. Safety creates space, and what was buried comes to the surface.
That is why support is the second step in the essential sequence for what the body needs. Without support, the nervous system sees the anxiety and panic and decides nothing has changed. It hits the wall and goes back into freeze and shutdown. With support, we learn to stay present with the anxiety and the anger so they can complete. I think of it as surfing. If you jump off the board halfway through the wave, you never reach the resolution at the end of it.
The waves come when the body is ready, in different sizes, and I never know exactly when or how big. I do not go looking for them. What I need is confidence in my skills, because if I am afraid of the wave, I block my ability to stay present to it. And if a wave feels too big, I can pace it. I can say, "I see you, and not right now." For a nervous system that has always gone into overwhelm, choosing something different is a growth step worth celebrating.
As the body completes a response, it may tremble, shake or sigh. That is the body discharging the activation it could not use when it froze. What I watch for is a spontaneous deep breath, like a dog that finally settles into its spot and lets out a sigh because it feels safe.
And when the calm does not last, it does not mean you are doing it wrong. One wave is one of many. And decades of stored trauma leave a footprint on our biology, such as inflammation in the brain, that keeps sending cues of danger. That is the body trauma loop, and we have to address both the danger and the biology that feed it, starting with the basics: sleep, rhythms, magnesium, protein, blood sugar.
The dogs in Martin Seligman's experiments got their sense of agency back only when someone moved their legs through the escape, again and again, until they learned it. That is what these small, guided experiences of safety do for us. They show the body, again and again, that it can get out of danger and back to feeling safe.
This is the Biology of Trauma® framework: safety, then support, then completing what the body started, while addressing the biology that keeps the loop going. If you want to know whether you are running a pattern of stored trauma, take my 2-Minute Assessment for Stored Trauma. And when you are ready to build the safety and support this work depends on, The Foundational Journey is where it begins.
FAQ
Why do I feel worse when I start coming out of functional freeze?
As the body starts to feel safe, the anxiety, anger and restlessness that were held under the brake of the freeze come to the surface. It often feels like getting worse, and it is usually the old activation finally having room to complete.
Is anger or anxiety after years of numbness a sign I am going backwards?
Not necessarily. Dr. Aimie explains that these are often emotions the body could not feel before, which is why they got buried. When they surface and are ridden through, that is movement forward in healing.
What does riding a wave mean in trauma healing?
It means staying present with a surge of activation, such as anxiety or anger, until it completes, instead of pulling away halfway. Dr. Aimie compares it to surfing a wave all the way to shore.
Should I go looking for waves of emotion?
No. The body brings waves up when it feels ready to ride them through. Dr. Aimie suggests going about daily life and riding the waves out when they come, without forcing them.
What can I do when a wave feels too big?
Pace it. Instead of going into overwhelm, you can gently push the feeling away to keep it manageable, not to avoid it, and say, "I see you, and not right now." Choosing that is a growth step in itself.
Why do I shake or sigh when my body releases stress?
Trembling, shaking and big sighs are natural ways the body discharges activation as it completes a response. Dr. Aimie encourages allowing them rather than blocking them, so the body can resolve the response in its own timing.
Is a spontaneous deep breath the same as breath work?
No. Breath work deliberately makes the breath deeper. The deep breath Dr. Aimie describes comes on its own after a wave completes, as a sign that the body feels safe.
Why doesn't the calm last after I ride a wave?
One wave is one of many that may need to be ridden. A biology of trauma, such as brain inflammation, can also keep sending danger cues, so the body may slip back into anxiety or depression even when you are doing the work well.
What is the body trauma loop?
It is Dr. Aimie's term for a feedback loop in which both danger and the biology created by stored trauma keep the body in its trauma response. Addressing only the danger will not stop the loop while biology is still feeding it.
IN THIS EPISODE
00:00 Why do I feel worse as I come out of functional freeze?
02:02 What was under the freeze the whole time?
02:47 Why does safety bring buried feelings to the surface?
03:45 Why does the body need support once safety opens things up?
04:37 What does it mean to ride a wave all the way through?
05:45 Why does coming out of freeze come in waves?
09:04 What if even small feelings feel unmanageable?
10:53 Why does doing something different in those moments matter?
13:24 How does the body finish a trauma response?
16:08 How do I know a wave has completed?
17:50 Why doesn’t the calm last?
18:58 How can my biology pull me back into freeze?
21:56 Where do I start with the biology?
23:03 What did Seligman’s dog experiments show about getting agency back?
24:54 How does it all fit together?
RESOURCES/GUIDES
Take the free 2-Minute Assessment for Stored Trauma. It shows the five patterns of stored trauma and which one your body has been running.
Get The Biology of Trauma book. Chapter 18 lays out where to start with the biology, including supplements.
RELATED PODCAST EPISODES
How to Get Out of Functional Freeze: Microdose Safety, Then Give Your Freeze Time (Episode 204). The episode this one follows: how to start with small doses of safety, the step that lets the waves begin.
Why Trauma Work May Not Be Your First Step, with Dr. Aimie Apigian (Episode 194). For the listener whose calm won't stick: when sleep, brain inflammation or depleted biology limits capacity, supporting the biology first is part of the trauma work.
Episode 139: Breaking the Body Trauma Loop: Why Healing Takes More Than Willpower (And How to Actually Transform). For the listener who wants the body trauma loop in full: how incomplete responses compound, and how small, consistent practices rewire it.
YOUR HOST
Dr. Aimie Apigian is a double board-certified physician in Preventive and Addiction Medicine, author of the national bestselling book The Biology of Trauma® (foreword by Gabor Maté) and the founder of the Biology of Trauma® framework that transforms our understanding of how the body experiences and holds trauma. Dr. Aimie holds master's degrees in biochemistry and public health. After foster-adopting a child during medical school sparked her journey, she desperately sought for answers that would only continue as she developed chronic health issues. Through her Biology of Trauma® practitioner training, podcast, YouTube channel, and international speaking, Dr. Aimie bridges functional medicine, attachment science, and trauma therapy, with a focus on facilitating accelerated repair of trauma's impact on the mind, body, and biology.
RESEARCH
Seligman ME, Maier SF. Failure to escape traumatic shock. J Exp Psychol. 1967;74(1):1-9. Dogs first exposed to shock they could not escape later failed to escape shock when escape was possible.
Seligman ME, Maier SF, Geer JH. Alleviation of learned helplessness in the dog. J Abnorm Psychol. 1968;73(3, Pt. 1):256-262. Dogs that no longer tried to escape began escaping on their own after being physically moved through the escape response repeatedly.
Transcript
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